Telecrapper 2000


The Telecrapper 2000 is designed to intercept telemarketer calls. It checks the caller ID when a call comes in and picks up if the ID is “out-of-area”, “unavailable”, or “private”. A script then begins playing a series of WAV files. A new file is played when the script detects silence indicating the marketer has finished speaking. The entire conversation is recorded for later amusement.

[thanks h-tech]


  1. jim says:

    w-t-funk is that about.. example 3 is weird.. chri-as..chri-as..

    also, looks like u’ve started summin, every soddin person is trying to get first post since that anniversary thing.. nooooooo!

  2. Bird603568 says:

    WOW. I prefer that if it’s an actual person, you pick up your old phone, and either blow a whistle into it, bang it on the table, or screem in to it. It’s really funny. it has to be one of those metal help whistles also there the best.

  3. kaiser says:

    Ha this is one of the best idea’s I’ve seen in awhile, the fact that the telemarketer will attempt to carry on a conversation with the machine is amazing…take that Alice.

  4. jason says:

    someone needs to build one of these and come up with a stack of wavs that reflects the telemarketer counterscript.

  5. ilovellamafood says:

    I wait for them to ask me if a certain person is available. Then I tell them, “Yeah, I’ll go get them.” I place the phone down and forget about it for a few minutes. Sometimes I will yell at and abuse my “kids” in the background. Play loud music, or just do nothing at all.

  6. ator1 says:

    Jim Florentine is a master of ‘terrorizing telemarketers’. That stuff is hilarious.

  7. CDE says:

    There should be an Eliza for this stuff…

  8. adam says:

    Does anyone know whats going on with the MAKE blog?.. Its been stuck on two days ago for me.

  9. jeff says:

    It would be great to have a VOIP service that allows multiple lines and then if you ever had to submit your phone number for a contest or some other marketing thing to get free stuff you could just have this thing pick up the calls. No need to worry about missing calls from friends and family on your real line (especially if they come in on caller ID as private or unlisted).

    And yes the make blog has been like that for me too.

  10. mukyboy says:

    The only thing better then the name of that thing is what it does

  11. Aaron says:

    lose, lose, lose.

    1) windows-based. ordinarily I don’t sweat this but five feet of Perl duct tape between two Windows programs, at least one of which appears to be payware, impresses me not at all.

    2) and it’s not even well-written perl, too. ugly, ugly.

    3) the page tried to spyware me like five times, and I got a whole stack of popups whenever I followed a link. what the fuck’s up with that?

    4) it requires hacking apart a phone and duct-taping a bunch of crap into it. not exactly elegant, and I can’t imagine it’d be long-term reliable.

    5) tried to spyware me. what kind of bullshit is that?

    it’s a clever idea, but it needs someone to do a proper implementation (and that someone is not me; I don’t answer the phone at home anyway).

  12. Lee says:

    *cough* voice modem and vgetty *cough*

  13. Brandon says:

    This has to come out with a software version asap. I would hook it up and leave it hooked up all the time. This would be hilarious.

  14. Jake says:

    XD that flash animation is priceless.

  15. Yeah, the pop-ups on the page were kinda…erm…ironic? I think that’s the word I’m looking for.

  16. waseem says:

    i had 2 kinda dumb questions to ask you guys :p,
    first off what type of relay should i use. also what type of N-Channel MOSFET would i use. (im planning to get both of these from radio shak).

    thanks for your help

  17. waseem says:
  18. eric says:

    Now if someone could integrate voice recognition software, an eliza bot or something similar, and text-to-speech software…

  19. Matty Blayze says:

    Reminds me of something I heard on

  20. Rex Dart, eskimo spy says:

    Pretty damn worthless. They’ll still call again. Have it play the tones from a “number is disconnected” message to be removed from an automated list.

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