Condom testing robot

coital-model

Broken condoms are a serious concern, not only for those who break them, but the companies who manufacture them. When studying the common reasons for breakage, a coital robot was used to simulate usage. Though it isn’t much of a robot, consisting mainly of simple pneumatics, it does serve its purpose. The study was able to determine the most common cause of breakage, and hopefully this information will lead to less occurrences. Robots do exist in the sex industry, and not just in that speculative future sex bot sense. Why weren’t any bots of a sexual background included in the big picture? The comments might want to stray towards future tech and possibilities, but we’re curious what there is out there currently and how robots are helping the industry.

37 thoughts on “Condom testing robot

  1. I like how one person makes a comment about the arduino-spam and they had said exactly what everyone was thinking.

    THIS ISN’T A HACK IT’S GOT NO ARDUINOS

  2. It is not about the ‘cost’ but consistency. You do NOT want to skew the results. You must research things SCIENTIFICALLY so that the results can be refuted under the same conditions and cause/produce the same result.

  3. “Though it isn’t much of a robot, consisting mainly of simple pneumatics, it does serve its purpose.”

    Why is it anything that moves is now called a robot? What exactly is the logic in putting this up as a “robot”? Even the original article doesn’t make that claim.

  4. The International Organization for Standardization gives a definition of robot in ISO 8373: “an automatically controlled, reprogrammable, multipurpose, manipulator programmable in three or more axes, which may be either fixed in place or mobile for use in industrial automation applications.”[3] This definition is used by the International Federation of Robotics, the European Robotics Research Network (EURON), and many national standards committees.

    To focus on “reprogrammable, multipurpose, manipulator”, it would seem that vacuum cleaners and condom stress testers are not “multipurpose”, but those “Assembly Welding Arms” that Derek mentioned certainly would be.
    But common usage has redefined “robot” as almost anything that moves.

  5. So, who’s the poor bastard stuck w/this job? I can just imagine the conversation when meeting new people:
    random person: “so what do you do for a living?”
    poor bastard : “well, I watch robots f*ck.”
    random person: “….”

  6. I’m trying to figure out what it must have felt like for a Cambridge researcher to put a dildo on a requisition list (and who was the pre-authorized supplier?!?!??)

  7. Ummmmm They’ve been making these for years, Hasn’t anyone else seen all those fucking machine? Although their is usually a girl on the other end of them ;)

  8. @chris,
    these things are often submitted to many sites. In this case though, we got it from boingboing… which you can clearly see by clicking on the link that goes to boingboing.

  9. Well technically you can take the “receiving” end off of the machine. And im pretty sure that the pneumatics are not controlled by an operator . . . so it could be reprogrammed and serve other uses. If you wanted to you could take the dildo off, add a butter knife perpendicular and a piece of toast with some jam . . . you get the picture, I hope.

  10. Bar smalltalk with one of the engineers for this company:
    bar person: “so what do you do for a living?”
    engineer : “I make f*cking robots.”
    bar person: “sorry, just asking, no need to get all ugly about it.”

  11. Am I the only one that doesn’t think that it’s exceptionally huge? Maybe I should peek over urinals, I must be gifted and not know about it.

  12. They have to test the whole thing. You generally don’t use the whole length of the condom, unless you are quite blessed.

    It would also be at least as thicker (or more than) the target users, for reasons obvious if you think of the stresses involved.

    Given that these are not easily adjustable attributes, I would venture to guess they have an attachment for various dimensions.

  13. “Knowledge of the main mechanism of breakage should help develop better user instructions, better test methods and, ultimately, better condoms.”

    Better user instructions?

    Step 1) Pinch tip of condom
    Step 2) Place condom on head of penis
    Step 3) Unroll condom down the length of penis
    Step 4) Ensure vagina is well lubricated.
    Step 5) *Gently* insert penis, straight and evenly into adequately large vagina.

    Disclaimer: The manufacture of this condom can not be held responsive if condom breakage occurs during use on a abnormally sized penis, with a partner experiencing “personal dryness” or during sex.

  14. Naturally, they cut the balls off this robot to prevent overpopulation. We wouldn’t want failed robot condoms to lead to their taking over the world now would we?

  15. yeah but the f**ing machines aren’t robots…I know a guy who has one and it consists of a d*ldo attached to a saws-all. Not too robotic.

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