Don’t Bristle; Teethbrush Won’t Hurt You

An assortment of whole-mouth toothbrushes that brush all of your teeth at once, in the span of 30 seconds.

A whole-mouth toothbrush that brushes all of your teeth at once, in the span of 30 seconds.Good dental hygiene is the first line of defense when it comes to your health, and– you’re already bored, aren’t you? It’s totally true, though. Take care of your teeth, and the rest of you has a better chance of staying fairly healthy.

This is like, the one thing we have control over after diet and exercise, and most people just plain fail on this front. They brush for 30 seconds, tops. Or they rarely floss. Maybe they’ve never even considered brushing or scraping their tongue.

Okay, fine. You don’t want to spend the recommended two minutes twice a day working the brush around your mouth. The good news is, technology has finally caught up with you and your habits, if you can call them that. How about using something that can truly be called a teethbrush? As in, it brushes all of your teeth at once? Well, half of your teeth anyway. Allegedly, you can spend as little as 10 seconds on each arch and effectively scour your smile — that’s because the thing vibrates at an astonishing 40,000 per minute or so.

Sounds kind of scary, doesn’t it? Wait ’til you hear how much they cost. One brand is $150 off the bat, and replacement heads are close to $40 each, although they’re supposed to last for six months each (eww!). Most of them have some fancy extras that make the cost more palatable, such as a tooth-whitening mode.

What do you think? Would you use a teethbrush? We’re still on the fence. It could be interesting to develop our own, but you have to crawl before you can run. Guess we’ll start with a manual.

33 thoughts on “Don’t Bristle; Teethbrush Won’t Hurt You

  1. These scams were all over Kickstarter/IGG a couple of years ago. TL;DR they don’t work, it’s essentially a pager vibrator motor in a silicon mould. Some of the fancier products would have ‘UV sterilising’, which amounted to a blue led.

    Even the slightest bit of research you would have found that these things don’t work and no reputable dentist would recommend them over a manual or rotary head brush.

    1. As a reputable dentist I urge you to ignore claims made about these devices- they are absolute garbage. Don’t waste your money, and especially, don’t waste your teeth.

      Do use a power brush, but don’t use one of these!

  2. “the thing vibrates at an astonishing 40,000 per minute or so”

    Good effort on sugar caoting it but this is HaD and we can take the truth. It is actually 2.4 Million vibrations per hour. I am still shaking with fear but there you go.

    1. Heck even if we ignore that, where is the innovation? The article reads like “hey check out this thing, could it be the new shiny?” when 2 minutes on google would tell you “no, it’s dumb malarkey and doesn’t do jack”

        1. Easy. You drink the resin, then wait until you have to go #2, blast an UV source into the toilet to effectively fossilize it into a plastic chunk, and finally take a picture and sell it as an NFT for many many bitcoins. You guys are not doing that?

  3. I want bio-equivalent teeth (thinking autograph ideally) implanted or seeded or stimulated somehow very site specifically to grow a full set of teeth I can then water pick or brush.

    Why the h$#! not and why isn’t teeth regeneration even a thing yet? Lazy idiot excuses by the “pro’s” that I’m guessing aren’t experts.

    Like dental repairs haven’t developed like damaged vehicle bodies and their shops beyond the stage of cheap bondo repairs that are actually kind of degenerate compared to the equivalent materials filler and form.

  4. Why not just get a toilet brush, stick it into a chuck of your cordless drill and use that? Has about the same effect on your tooth cleaning as these devices… But it’s actually a ‘Hack’

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