It’s cold outside, there’s no kind of atmosphere, you’re all alone, more or less. More or less meaning that you share the gigantic mining ship that is your home on the other side of the galaxy with an ineffectual android, a humanoid descended from your cat, a holographic representation of your dead colleague who’s a complete smeghead, and a really annoying sentient toaster that’s obsessed with bread products. If all this rings a bell, then maybe you’re familiar with the cult BBC TV series, Red Dwarf. It’s a show that evidently [Bill Dudley] has spent too much time watching, because he’s created a really convincing replica of that talking toaster.
The base toaster is a toy appliance with a little clockwork ejector for toy toast, that comes with plenty of space inside and is easy to accessories for the classic Talkie Toaster look. Inside is an off-the-shelf MP3 player board and a home-made PCB which drives a set of LEDs behind the speaker grille in time with the audio. The result won’t make any toast, waffles, or even crumpets, but it will delight any Red Dwarf fans who might be passing, whether someone has smoked them a kipper or not.
Surprisingly this is not the first Talkie Toaster build we’ve seen. If they met, would they have a harmonious conversation about bagels?
Next stop: Talky doors?
Or even better: More Hyperdrive episodes?
“Ghastly,” continued Marvin, “it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don’t even talk about it. Look at this door,” he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut into his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. “All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.”
As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sigh-like quality to it. “Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!” it said.
The hitch hikers guide to the galaxy
Sirius Cybernetic bastards! They will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes!!
OH NO man! Dismantle him! You don’t know what the little bleeder is like!
…and definitely no smeggin flapjacks.
He wants make toast all the time….
Have a toaster, a spare echo dot, amp, speakers, wifi controlled LEDs – all sitting in a box ready to come off the back burner.
Why have an echo in the kitchen when you can have an annoying little nonfunctional toaster?
‘Hey Toaster’ does somehow sound better then those other three. There more than three now. There is room for a smart ass toaster to tell ‘go smeg off’ when user being goofy. Possibly to purposely burn toast.
I loved this… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yn8wWQweNbU
After binge watching the series a few years ago, I can only remember the episode where he goes to a parallel universe and gets pregnant by a woman there. Later, the women laugh at how “easy” he was.
Wow. Nice comment. But this is not an Alzheimer’s thread, Josh. It is about Talkie Toaster.
The woman was himself just to make it extra funny. Of course the cat was disappointed that his double was a dog.
I only have one again for you… Would you like some toast?
So, you’re more of a waffle man?
We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smegging flapjacks! :)
Ah, so you’re a waffle man!
You’re sure about the crumpet?
Anyone seen the latest episode where Kryten and Rimmer are running against each other in the ships election, and Lister has to win votes from 51% of the ship computers, and Talkie Toaster is the last hold out?