I find that duct tape is all that is needed to keep a baby from crying.

Just duct tape her favorite mobile to the crib any everyone’s happy. What were you expecting? :)

Posted at 2:20 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by ob1

What exactly is “baby cry sensor”? XD

Posted at 2:45 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Fisher

what an incredibly hideous and irresponsible “idea” this is

Posted at 2:49 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by john

My mom always just placed me ontop of the washing machine and set it for ‘hand wash’.

Don’t know why I get sleepy whenever I drive by a laundromat these days…

Posted at 2:56 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by alexander

I’m sure you could build something like this with nothing more than a wooden crib on wheels, a microphone, a motor and a lego mindstorms kit.

Posted at 2:59 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Phil

What next? a robot to plop that f***** in front of a TV? Its disgusting how parents want to let the TV parent their children so they have more time to suck off their boss.

(sorry for the language)

Posted at 2:59 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by jaded124

Does the baby receive an electric shock when crying is detected? I hope some sort of delay is in place or the baby is a quick learner. cry zap… cry zap continued.

Posted at 3:01 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by baby_zapp3r

Swing and a white noise / rain noise machine. I can’t imagine $5k would do any better.

Did anyone notice the scram switch near the floor, near a drive wheel? Isn’t that a little useless?

Posted at 3:01 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by pokey

hahahah… wow. That is so going to mess with the baby’s head.

How long until they start crying because they want their robot?

Posted at 3:02 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Colin

A garbage compactor shuts up a baby a lot faster then a rocking cradle.

Posted at 3:11 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by schwillis

Ever read “I Robot” by Isaac Asimov?
The first couple chapters cover the “I want my robot” idea.
Peace!

Posted at 3:16 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Louis II

hair dryer. Rigged it to turn off if I let off the trigger. Worked wonders.

Posted at 3:34 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Caleb Kraft

Booze, it works wonders.

Posted at 3:55 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by henk

Oh awesome. Now my baby will learn to cry so it can be rocked back to sleep. Now colic isn’t just a phase, it continues as long as the baby is small enough to fit in that piece of crap.

Posted at 4:35 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by andrew

A rubber teat on a bottle of gin does the job. I found that once I was half way down I didn’t care what noises were coming from the baby.

Posted at 4:36 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by tubeless

Reminds me of B.F. Skinner and his ‘air crib’:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/b._f._skinner

some other interesting hacks of his include the ‘teaching machine’ and the ‘pigeon guided missile’. i shit you not.

Posted at 4:43 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by dan

Hack? Mod? Who needs em. My kid inherited my gene pool, so he sleeps through the night, since month 2, unless he’s sick or going through a growth spurt (in which case, he finishes a bottle faster than i can chug a monster…)

Posted at 5:51 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by kaptin

booze

I mean…I built this thing…

Posted at 6:23 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by strider_mt2k

Don’t most kids’ bedrooms have carpeting? With the weight of something this big, it would have to have some fairly strong motors, which would probably be loud enough to keep ME awake, thereby defeating the original purpose. And even for $5,000 I’d bet there’s no return policy.

The other thing to consider here is (as others have stated) why you even decided to reproduce if you wanted the tv/crib/computer/etc. to raise your kids.

What did I do to get my kid some sleep? Sat him in my lap while spending time with my computer – that way he’s got a head-start on the rest of the kids in his class with regard to computers ;)

Posted at 6:32 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Daley

If you prop the bottle just right, the both of you can get some shut eye when nursing.

The biggest problem we had was with getting Chilly to sleep. The only way to get her to go to sleep was to swaddle (wrap semi-tightly in a light blanket). I was the only one who could do it right, so if I was out, Chilly was up until I got home

Posted at 6:48 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by MrSelfdestruct

There’s something to be said for human affection. To a baby, the rocking signals that it is being held and protected by a human. To dissociate that emotion from human presence sounds like a bad move.

If you’re rich and lazy, at least pay for a nanny. It’d probably be better for your kid, and hey, he’ll grow up knowing Spanish.

Posted at 6:50 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by max

funny tubeless i mean a real riot lol

Posted at 7:09 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by dbgtwill1

All right children, it’s time for a game of “Which of these words do not fit?”

Hacks
Mods
Robots
Babies

Be careful, it’s a toughie.

Posted at 7:16 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Roboguy

ether is more effective at silencing babies than duct tape imo

Posted at 7:40 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by cyanide

Hmm, now where to find the robotic baby?

Posted at 9:26 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by nubie

I have afriend who’s parents would put her in the car and drive till she passed out.

Now she can’t drive more than 20mins without checking out!

Posted at 9:26 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Jeff

Wouldn’t a basic water bed made for a crib cheaper and work just as well? (Not a parent, but i know they make waterbed cribs)

Posted at 11:32 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Blind

I hooked up an inverted phase version of my son to itself during the night, thus canceling any noise generated.

Posted at 11:48 pm on Feb 9th, 2009 by Harel

Closest thing I did as a hack for baby was upgrading the baby monitor. I’m a deep sleeper, and the walls are thick. Since light wakes me more than sound I just added some super-bright LEDs to the volume meter on the monitor. And my wife started sleeping with her face buried in the pillow.

Now, a giant hampster-ball for my toddler might be a good idea…

Posted at 7:46 am on Feb 10th, 2009 by Mike

My baby get used to the air conditioning noise at night (she was born in summer), when winter arrived we did not used the AC anymore, so she would wake up every hour or two, so I recorded the AC noise in a CD and put it in continuous mode in a CD player, it work great!!

Posted at 10:03 am on Feb 10th, 2009 by Max

There is a theory that some of these low-frequency vibrations caused by taking the baby in the car or setting her on the washing machine may produce a low enough frequency to cause brain wave entrainment in a range that encourages sleep. BUT: only very high-end audio equipment can reproduce those ultra-low frequencies, so recordings of the sound will usually work differently.

Posted at 10:16 am on Feb 10th, 2009 by andar_b

I just went to walmart and got a $40 battery-powered rocker. Then I hacked it to take a wallwart.

Posted at 10:39 am on Feb 10th, 2009 by j9

my baby boy is 1 year old now and out of boredom his crib then his bed moded for quiet night
the crib waas given a motor with a ver offbalancd wheel on it to make the thing vibrate and the baby moniter was built in to the headboard .. then his lil blue racecar bed has the same plus LED headlights and tail lights rather then the unreliable bulb blower i was useing before as a night light soon to come is an FM radio that he can play with

Posted at 11:43 am on Feb 10th, 2009 by dravin21

I built my child a coffin to sleep in, it is motorized so it raises out of the floor in the morning so I can check and see if he is still breathing.

One day my efficiency will pay off

Posted at 11:54 am on Feb 10th, 2009 by Morden

You’d be better off building a robotic baby that can change itself, feed itself, and burp itself.

Posted at 12:42 pm on Feb 10th, 2009 by BigD145

We just mod our babies. Crying is futile.

http://www.trekfrontier.com/immdatabase/razze/borg/borg_baby.jpg

Posted at 1:04 pm on Feb 10th, 2009 by Parental Unit 42 of Borg

I can’t imagine this working even a tiny fraction as well as an actual parent.

In fact, even if it worked by passively learning how the parent reacts (so it could copy exactly the same movements), it still wouldn’t work nearly as well. It can’t touch the baby with baby’s parent’s hand and it can’t breathe proximal air onto the baby (a big part of triggering some learned ’soothed’ responses).

The subtleties make us human. And until it can replicate all of them, the product is probably overpriced.

Posted at 4:34 pm on Feb 10th, 2009 by Dan Fruzzetti

Awesome Invention!
inspiring!
it really made my day.
thank you.

Posted at 5:36 pm on Feb 10th, 2009 by kellyamareta

If you don’t have a baby for this project you can of course MAKE ONE! It’s not that hard, you just need a willing woman partner, or if you’re a woman you’ll need a willing male partner. You can find instructions for this make project on the Intertubes everywhere. There are also many videos and magazines with details.

Once you have your baby in the oven you can proceed with the crib project. You can then spend many years enjoying both the crib and the baby.

Warning: the baby will grow up over the years and in the process consume many resources so be prepared. Fortunately your make skills can come in hand with the providing of these resources. You can also teach the baby how to make things, including it’s own babies (birds and bees project) so that your baby will provide for you in your rocking chair project stage of life.

Enjoy.

Posted at 5:59 pm on Feb 10th, 2009 by pwl

I learned to sleep sitting up while holding the baby. best hack ever.

Posted at 6:44 pm on Feb 10th, 2009 by Sp`ange

I’ve brought two up. I modded one of those bears that make womb-noise sounds to be noise activated (having it on constantly seemed to get her acclimated after the first bit), but I didn’t take notes and used only parts from a pretty random tape recorder that had the same function, just located the on/off wire and soldered to it. They loved the cheap automatic rocker chairs. One liked having an ages old PC running acidwarp in front of it, when she she woke up she’d stare at it in fascination for a while and then go back to sleep (noticed she loved it on mine and set one up).

Posted at 7:56 pm on Feb 11th, 2009 by LarrySDonald

tubeless,
I didn’t see that one coming. I was ready to be offended (for the first time ever) but the I laughed til I almost puked! Good stuff!

Posted at 9:43 am on Feb 12th, 2009 by Greg

If you look at the pix of the crib it does not move back and fort on the wheels but the bed section moves back and forth on the base. I would NOT drop 5k on the thing tho.

Posted at 8:08 pm on Feb 12th, 2009 by Lester

Do I see correct but it seems that the remote control is via wire…is this correct? if so – how remote exactly it is? :-)

Posted at 12:13 am on Aug 4th, 2009 by dimiss