R/C Toilet Paper Roll Is The Hero We Deserve

For reasons that most rational consumers can’t fathom, a not inconsiderable segment of the population believes the key to their continued survival during a pandemic unprecedented in modern times is to stockpile toilet paper. This leaves those of us not compelled to act based on the whims of our bowels looking at bare racks in the paper product aisle more often than not.

Which makes it the perfect time for [Ariel Yahni] to develop his remote controlled toilet paper roll. With this gadget deployed, you just might have a chance at drawing the Karens away from all the rolled gold long enough to grab yourself a pack. Even if it doesn’t distract the other competitors shoppers, you can at least enjoy the looks on their faces as it scurries by.

The project starts with, of all things, popsicle sticks. These are used to make a reinforced platform to which the two motors, radio receiver, speed controller, and battery are mounted. With some clever packing, [Ariel] is able to (tightly) fit it inside of a cardboard tube with just the bottoms of the two wheels protruding through cutouts. A careful wrapping with toilet paper is then used to give it the look of a partially used roll, including a trailing “tail” that flutters in its wake.

In the video after the break, you can see [Ariel] take his roll of motorized TP through a local mall for a test drive. We’re sorry to say that nobody appears to make a wild dive for it during the test. But that could be because the video was recorded back in December before people had resorted to fighting over toiletries. It also explains why he was able to get into a mall in the first place.

Just think, if we had embraced the high-tech toilets of the future back when we had a chance, we could have avoided this whole thing. As far as dystopias go, this one is shaping up to be pretty weird.

11 thoughts on “R/C Toilet Paper Roll Is The Hero We Deserve

  1. Use less toilet paper, make yourself a portable bidet from an empty squeeze bottle (shampoo) or 1 liter plastic soda bottle by drilling a hole sideways in the cap while it is screwed on.

    Extra credit: make a manual ventilator from a squeezable bottle by adding one way valves and tubes.

    Double extra credit: convert an off-the-shelf portable bidet into a manual ventilator. Double duty virus survival tool!

      1. Sure it could cause damage, if the air goes into the stomach, the result could be regurgitation followed by choking. If the air pressure is too strong, it will cause damage to the insides of the lungs.

        But mouth-to-mouth resuscitation has been practiced for a long time and even by non-medical practitioners. A chinese farmer family keep a member alive with a homemade manual ventilator. If Chinese red necks can do it, so can westerners.

        Some links:
        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag_valve_mask

        https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/9836337/Chinese-farmer-keeps-son-alive-with-20-homemade-ventilator.html

        This is a time for facts not fear.

      2. I don’t think double duty in using a bidet for a ventilator as well is a very good idea you do realise a lot of the population talks out of their arse already exhale s*** don’t breathe it in lol

  2. it’s not a roll.
    It’s a slide. A toilet paper slide.

    Not the same thing.

    A rolling toilet paper roll would have been funny, this is just an RC car with the looks of a mummy.

  3. Don’t forget you can plumb in a standard kitchen sink sprayer to your toilet’s water inlet valve and even though the water is a little cold, you can hose off your nethers enough to clean yourself up and then finish with a dark coloured wash-cloth (soap and water) or even take a shower. Standard toilet paper really isn’t enough anyway because it leaves a thin layer of dried shit across your ass so even with toilet paper, you should finish up with a wet wipe or soap and water if you want to practice better hygiene. It also helps prevent you from leaving skids in your underpants. Just being flat-out 100% honest.

    1. About 30 years ago, I got 1) a quick connect set for bathroom sink faucet aerator thread to long hand shower hose thread at home depot for $10, adding $10 for hose . 2)shower hose thread to garden hose male adapter. 3)watering wand with a smooth working on/off valve 4)1/4 aluminum tube glued into the wand, bent into a shepherd’s crook with a junkbox small plastic knob glued on the end for smoothness. Viola! The poor man’s bidet!

      Now I no longer pay folks to cut down our trees to wipe my posterior! I set the sink faucet to a modest flow of wonderfully WARM water. Then (SETTING WAND VALVE OPEN FIRST) I QUICKLY mate the coupler halves, and close the hose valve. Now seated on the Throne, I can clean to my heart’s content. Another feature is 30 years of skid free undies! (and I didn’t have to tap the toilet’s water supply)

  4. This was shot in December not last week. The joke line is just “where is the bathroom” like it it’s lost. Now it’s ironic that we see it is running for it’s life past empty shelves with a shopping stampede behind it. Toilet humor, hum. The runaway roll in the stall situation is classic.

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