The Ottoman Empire

ottomon empire

Remember the good old days in the 60’s and 70’s when stereos were built right into the furniture? No? Well, that’s where the inspiration for this project comes from. Introducing the Ottoman Empire — a pun so bad we’re not even going to repeat it here.

[Alec] was inspired by Blaupunkt, which is a German manufacturer of electronics who used to make a line of very nice cabinet stereos (examples) which blended furniture and electronics quite exquisitely.

He had recently finished off a rather cool 8-track data backup system, and was left with a spare BSR record player — or as he likes to call it, the “Ford Pinto of record players.” He decided to turn it into something useful by integrating it into a Naugahyde Ottoman that he picked up from a local vintage store. The problem with old furniture like that? No structural elements — it was actually just packed full of shredded wood! He cleaned it all out though and then proceeded to make his own wooden frame to support the BSR — he’s done a great job modifying it to fit, and even hiding all the electronics to make it very presentable.

Now all he needs to do is add a pressure switch in the top so when he kicks back to relax it starts playing some Chopin.


  1. DRoseDARs says:

    That pun is Epic.

  2. MajorDick says:

    Bad pun? Yes, but Ottoman Empire is also the name of the fathers furniture store in The Goldburgs.

  3. DainBramage1991 says:

    “Ford Pinto of record players” had me laughing.

    So if you kick it too hard, does it explode?

  4. Sheff says:

    One more and a microphone……

  5. voxnulla says:

    As the Ottoman empire is, for a large part, responsible for the trouble and unrest in the contemporary middle east, I worry as it is known today mostly because of a particular type of furniture. Not because of the general ignorance of historical context, but primarily because of what Ikea could become in the near future.

    • Ren says:

      I don’t think the Ottoman Empire is responsible for the trouble in the Middle East. But I do think that the partitioning of the “Empire” (just grasping here…The Balfor Declaration?) which made borders through traditional tribal areas and placed minority populations in charge of the newly created countries have created a legacy of unrest.
      The Kurds come to mind, their “land” is now parts of Turkey, Syria, Iraq and Iran. Similar partitioning was used in post-colonial Africa, with similar results.

      (yes, I know political discussion in HaD is frowned upon, but I feel my comment corrects (at least partially) the comment it is responding to…)

      • Ren says:

        Okay, the Sykes–Picot Agreement, is probably more relevant than the Balfour Declaration…

      • voxnulla says:

        I do salute your willingness to actually do some research on these subject.
        The Balfour declaration biggest item of relevance, of course, was the subscription to the idea of the Zionists Jewish state. This was particular painful for the Palestinians who were promised, albeit vaguely, some form of identity sovereignty and protection of land ownership after they helped overthrow the Ottoman empire by request of the British.
        It was ottoman rule that left the region in shambles. This was the fundamental for subsequent nationalistic tendencies and actions which are relevant today.

        But I’m not worried about that, I’m worried about IKEA!

  6. Hirudinea says:

    If he was born 50 years sooner he could have worked for Electrohome!

  7. robomonkey says:

    If he only uses it from time to time, shouldn’t that be the occasional Ottoman Empire??

  8. RichC says:

    That would be a really good way to hide a sub-woofer, (with a heavy battery and a wireless link.)

  9. SavannahLion says:

    How is shredded wood a mark of old furniture? A lot of new furniture is not much better. Go to IKEA and pick up one of their basic tables. Do you honestly think something that light is actually solid anything?

    I wanted to see what was inside one and my wife wanted to hide a litter box so we bought one of their cabinets. As soon as the router plunged *through* the panel I had my answer… cardboard. You’re paying for what is essentially laminated cardboard.

    If those furniture makers can figure out a way to sell you laminated poop they would.

  10. r4k says:

    I can’t believe nobody mentioned the epic design fail here.

    Is nobody else old enough to know what happens to a record player when you bump it even in the slightest?

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