What is this dystopia coming to when one of the world’s largest tech companies can’t find a way to sufficiently monetize a nearly endless stream of personal data coming from its army of high-tech privacy-invading robots? To the surprise of almost nobody, Amazon is rolling out a paid tier to their Alexa service in an attempt to backfill the $25 billion hole the smart devices helped dig over the last few years. The business model was supposed to be simple: insinuate an always-on listening device into customers’ lives to make it as easy as possible for them to instantly gratify their need for the widgets and whatsits that Amazon is uniquely poised to deliver, collecting as much metadata along the way as possible; multiple revenue streams — what could go wrong? Apparently a lot, because the only thing people didn’t do with Alexa was order stuff. Now Amazon is reportedly seeking an additional $10 a month for the improved AI version of Alexa, which will be on top of the ever-expanding Amazon Prime membership fee, currently at an eye-watering $139 per year. Whether customers bite or not remains to be seen, but we think there might be a glut of Echo devices on the second-hand market in the near future. We hate to say we told you so, but — ah, who are we kidding? We love to say we told you so.
